Buffy vs. The Devil
by SuganSpice
Summary: Buffy meets up with the devil in a heated fight, spike and buffy get close and intimate


She slammed her stake through his heart, as a ball of dust floated around her.   
  
"That seems it, enough patrolling for tonight. Let's go home," Buffy instructed her Scooby gang.   
  
The gang walked away into the night, as a dark figure hid among the shadows, watching them.   
  
************************************  
  
"Mmmm...this is delicious!" Buffy complimented Willow's home baked cookies.  
  
"Thanks. All natural too, no artificial ingredients, 100% wholesome goodness without once ounce of guilt."  
  
At that moment, a loud knock was heard at the door.   
  
"I wonder who that could be," Giles said.   
  
Buffy jumped up from the couch and looked through the peek-hole to see a young girl around the age of 16. She slowly creeked the door open, and the girl bolted inside.  
  
"Oh thank you so much for opening the door! I was so scared for my life! That...that thing...it was...it...."the girl stammered.  
  
"Whoa, slow down. What thing?" Buffy questioned.   
  
"The thing...that was chasing me...I was walking down the street...and this...not too bad looking guy came up to me and started chatting, and I turned my back to pick up a wrapper I dropped, when I turned around, I saw this....awful..."   
  
Willow offered the girl a cookie, "Describe what he looked like, you can do that, can't u?"  
  
"I'll try and describe him best as I can. His skin was dark orange, he had stained teeth, at first he was a scrawny guy, then...he was...heavy, obese...I'm sorry, I can't remember anything else...but...oh yes, he had horns and his feet...his two feet weren't the same...and he smelt of sulfur..."  
  
Giles was wide eyed, "This....this thing what did it try to do to you?"  
  
"I...after I turned around, he tried to force me into a dark alley, and when I ran away, he chased after me...its too horrible to speak of..."  
  
"Let me get this straight, big fat ugly guy with horns and weird looking feet chasing a girl down the street cause she wouldn't get into a dark alley with him? Sounds like another Bill Clinton and Monica affair," Xander joked.  
  
Buffy shot Xander a look, "Willow and Giles, stay here and try to get more info on whatever the thing was. Xander, look after the girl with Anya, I won't be long."  
  
Buffy grabbed her coat and stepped out the door onto the street.   
  
*****************************************  
Buffy stepped onto the grass of the cemetery. And approached Spike's crypt, opening the door easily. She coughed through the thick atmosphere of smoke and dust.  
  
"Spike, I need to ask you a favor," Buffy requested.  
  
"Well, well, well, look whose come crawling back. If it isn't the all too good for vampire slayer, Buffy. What do you want?"  
  
"What do you know about a heavy built, horny head, different looking feet, with the scent of sulfur guy?"  
  
Spike lit a cigarette, "Seems to me like your dealing with the devil himself. Wouldn't want you to get too close to him and get hurt, slayer."  
  
"My well being is non of your concern. Thank you for your theory."  
  
"Theory? Bloody hell it's not a theory, it's a fact. You are dealing with the devil, don't tell me I didn't warn you slayer."  
  
Buffy stepped out of the crypt, "Maybe your right, but I'm not 100% sure yet."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*Funny Answering Machine Messages*   
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll   
leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're   
finished.   
~~~~~   
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why   
message.   
~~~~~   
Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent   
the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my   
financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are   
my   
friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have   
plenty of   
money.   
~~~~~   
Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you   
can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.   
~~~~~   
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.   
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with   
one   
~~~~~   
Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just   
eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if   
you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up   
to the   
phone.   
~~~~~   
Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving   
messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and   
their   
carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do   
not   
need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and   
number and they will get back to you.   
~~~~~   
This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-   
recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason   
for   
calling   
and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning   
your   
call.   
~~~~~   
Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.   
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.   
~~~~~   
Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.   
Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.   
~~~~~   
If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our   
weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably   
aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message.   
~~~~~   
You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very   
sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability   
to   
resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly   
compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.   
~~~~~   
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain   
silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.   
~~~~~   
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right   
now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing   
it   
up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave   
a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to   
you.   
  
  



End file.
